A Zen Journey into Silence

This past week I joined a meditation session at the Chobo-ji Zen center in the Beacon Hill section of Seattle.  This was the first time in my life that I have participated in Zen practice, and the first time I meditated for an hour on three different mornings.

When the invitation was offered, I felt my reaction that there was no way I could meditate for as long as an hour.  I have often meditated for 20 minutes, and that is more than enough.  When it was explained that the hour would be divided into two separate periods of about 25 minutes, with a two minute stretch break in between, I reconsidered my response. 

I have learned, often the hard way, that when my immediate response is resistance, the automatic “no,” there is something deeper that is going on.  Facing into that resistance and letting myself see it as a challenge can be rich, though not necessarily easy.  So I made the commitment to going the first day.

Since I would be picked-up at 5:00 a.m., I got up before 4:00 a.m. to do my yoga practice.  I knew I needed the stretching of the yoga would be essential to being able to sit for that long. While daunting, my body was still on Eastern time, so it wasn’t as bad as I expected.

The leader of the Zen Do was sensitive to those of us attending for the first time, and gave directions about what to do in the opening ritual and chanting.  So, the feeling of awkwardness was reduced.  Then as I sat with my eyes partially open doing the meditation, I found myself surprisingly comfortable.  It was not as hard as I was worried it could be.

The second morning was harder, and my friend who was taking me there said that every session is different it to expect that kind of thing.  Then I skipped two days, and went back a third time before returning home.  The third time I could feel things rising up from my unconscious mind, surprising and intriguing things, but making it much harder to keep my mind quiet and not focus on the thoughts and feelings.

I don’t know that I will do any more Zen meditation practice.  Yet I sense that it has already taught me some things and shifted something inside.  I am grateful I stepped up to the challenge and moved through my resistance.