My recent experience in meditation at a Zen do brought
back memories of how I first learned to meditate. It was when I was in my senior year of
college, during the 70’s when meditation was proclaimed by rock stars in words
and music.
There was a six week class in meditation techniques
sponsored by the Hendricks Chapel. Each week Kendra Smith, the wife of Huston
Smith, introduced a form of meditation and led us in practicing it. I remember a few of the different methods,
including counting our breath, focusing on a candle flame, and walking
meditation. We were urged to continue to
practice each one the following week.
Then we would talk about what we were experiencing.
The first time we were invited to focus on our breathing
while clearing our minds of thoughts and finding the space between those
thoughts. I remember being surprised and
amazed at how fast and furious my thoughts kept coming. I thought of various things I needed to
do. I had memories of conversations or
events earlier in the day or worries about upcoming tests. There were many things claiming my attention
once I stopped to listen.
As others also reported the flood of thoughts rushing up,
Kendra reassured us, saying that it was quite common for people who were just
starting to meditate. She recommended we
begin by meditating for only short periods, five or ten minutes, until we had
practiced for a while.
That was my first time to learn a new meaning for “practice.” I had practiced my trumpet through junior
high and high school. It required working
on different skills and showing those skills in the lessons I would attend
every few weeks. There were goals to be accomplished. However, practicing meditation is about
letting go of accomplishing something. The point is to be sure you are doing it
regularly, hopefully daily. The only
goal is to become comfortable enough to meditate for longer periods of time, or
to meditate when it seems impossible because of anxiety or stress or chaotic
feelings.
Over the years, I have tried different forms of
meditation or similar practices such as centering prayer or using the Jesus
Prayer or the walking meditation of a labyrinth. Each has its place in my ongoing spiritual
deepening and growth. But it all began
in that short class.
I have thought about Kendra many times since hearing that
Huston Smith died a year and a half ago.
While I suspect she has no memory of teaching the class or me, I hope
she knows that she played an important role in many of our lives. It was the beginning my experimenting and
exploring the value of meditation in my life.
