Expressions of Faith

 

During these anxious times, when current events are crashing around me, I think of this picture.  In front are the remaining walls from an old mill on the Turnback Creek in Dade County, Missouri. Those walls hold a calm, still pool of water, while the river water cascades wildly and noisily behind.  I want to be like that quiet pool, separated from external clamor.  Sometimes, for a short time, I can find that place of internal peacefulness.  But I cannot hold onto it for long.

The chaotic voices often become strongest when I am afraid to go to bed because I know they will keep me awake or wake up in the middle of the night.  That is when I turn to the Evening Prayer Office written by the Northumbria Community.  There is a section of the liturgy called Expressions of Faith.  It is a paradoxical contrast of feelings such as weakness, anxiousness, and being unsafe challenged by the promises of choosing to believe that God provides strength, peace, and safety.  Read through them for yourself.

Lord, You have always given
bread for the coming day;
and though I am poor,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
strength for the coming day;
and though I am weak,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always given
peace for the coming day;
and though of anxious heart,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always kept
me safe in trials;
and now, tried as I am,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always marked
the road for the coming day;
and though it may be hidden,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always lightened
this darkness of mine;
and though the night is here,
today I believe.

Lord, You have always spoken
when time was ripe;
and though you be silent now,
today I believe.

I know that remembering those promises doesn't make the bad feelings go away;  claiming that "today I believe" is often done with a shaky and uncertain voice.  But committing to believe gives me strength while acknowledging my pain and uncertainty.