Exploring Vulnerability and Availability

In researching how I have applied the Rule of Vulnerability and Availability in my spiritual life and in providing spiritual direction, my journals revealed a mixture of applications. Here are some brief summaries:

As Examen 

There were many times when I used the questions “How have I said ‘yes’ to vulnerability? How have I said ‘yes’ to availability?” as a kind of personal examen, following the Ignation practice. The practice has provided an ongoing and deepening psychological and spiritual awareness over the years.

As Frame 

The Rule was used going into a particular situation. For example, before beginning a silent retreat, spiritual training event, or family gathering, I would bring to mind the question “What can I do to be vulnerable and available during this time?” By asking the question, I would be alerted to ways I was not being as vulnerable or available as I wanted to be. Then I could decide if I was willing to be more open and risk-taking.

In my Body 

Having a full body massage did not just loosen the locked-up muscles, but also opened up a sense of spirit and soul. The relationship between the physical and the spiritual became clear.

In my Feelings 

There were many descriptions of feelings connected to either allowing or avoiding the choices of vulnerability and availability. While deeply desiring to be vulnerable and available to God and others, there were strong feelings, such as fear of the possible risks and dangers.

God’s Encouragement 

During prayer, God invited and encouraged an ongoing exploration being vulnerable and available. One journal entry noted a sense of God saying it “will lead to pain, to fear, to loss, to unexpected joy and delight; all of it will be there – both as a gift for me and a challenge to me.”

God’s Freedom 

God provides humanity the freedom to act with vulnerability and availability by providing God’s own self as freely vulnerable and available. More than the one time offering of Jesus’ own vulnerability, it is God’s ongoing commitment to those who are willing to open themselves by becoming vulnerable and available to God.

Self-differentiation and connection

It is only possible to choose to be fully vulnerable and available through deeply knowing yourself and experiencing the separation of that self from others. The vulnerability cannot grow out of weakness or fusion or fragility, but through deliberate and prayerful personal exploration and awareness. This process will both clarify one’s own boundaries while allowing for a more true availability for and with others.

Providing direction

Spiritual directors often describe providing hospitality as a core dynamic of the conversation. When a director intentionally chooses to be vulnerable and available to those who come for conversation, the director radically welcomes all the person brings. Supervision provides a place for the director to continue working on internal barriers and blocks, deepening both a differentiated self and the availability to others.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions for further explorations of these topics.